It was a day brimming with high drama and unexpected spice in the heart of “Flavortown”—an eatery known for its cacophonous culinary creations and, on this particular occasion, the site of an unprecedented celebrity feud. What transpired, however, might have been too outlandish even for the Food Network. Guy Fieri, the self-proclaimed Mayor of Flavortown, reportedly expelled beloved EGOT-winning actress and The View co-host, Whoopi Goldberg, from his restaurant with a blunt, fiery decree: “You’re not welcome here.”

The first act of this culinary confrontation unfolded at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar, Fieri’s iconic flagship restaurant, formerly located in the bustling heart of Times Square. (Note: Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar in Times Square closed in 2017.) This establishment, where diners typically embarked on a joyride through cholesterol-laden “Donkey Sauce”-slathered “Trash Can Nachos,” instead served up a platter of unexpected Hollywood drama.

The tension began with the arrival of Goldberg, whose illustrious career boasts the rare achievement of winning an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony. She reportedly walked into the establishment, presumably to sample Fieri’s infamous “Sashimi Tacos,” but was allegedly met with an unexpectedly chilly welcome.

It wasn’t long, according to initial reports from anonymous sources, before Fieri himself emerged from the kitchen, his trademark bleached spiky hair resembling the flames of his frequently used flamethrower, and his bowling shirts reportedly fluttering dramatically. He allegedly delivered a line that could have been plucked straight from a Quentin Tarantino movie. “Whoopi,” he reportedly growled, with metaphorical smoke practically billowing from his frosted tips, “you’re not welcome here.”

Goldberg, renowned for her long-standing advocacy for peace and her often-calm demeanor, was reportedly taken aback. After all, this was Times Square, a public space, not The View studio where verbal volleys are as commonplace as the overabundance of cilantro in Fieri’s “Morgan’s Gnarly Greek Nachos.” Onlookers—or rather, patrons—reportedly gasped, forks momentarily suspended midway to their mouths. Some allegedly choked on their “Vegas Fries” in sheer surprise. Others, more cynically inclined and quick to capitalize on the spectacle, immediately began tweeting the incident, causing “Guy vs Whoopi” to trend faster than the latest celebrity diet craze.

Naturally, the most pressing question on everyone’s lips was not, “Can I have more of the ‘Rattlesnake Pasta’?” but rather, “Why in the world did Guy Fieri reportedly kick Whoopi Goldberg out of his restaurant?” Rumors began to fly with the speed and disarray of a poorly flipped pancake on a busy Sunday morning breakfast rush.

Was it because Whoopi allegedly preferred the meticulous culinary techniques of chefs like Alton Brown to Fieri’s wild, rule-breaking approach? Did Fieri take offense when he supposedly overheard Goldberg confessing that she was more a fan of Jamie Oliver’s wholesome, rustic recipes than his signature “Cheeseburger Meatloaf” drenched in Donkey Sauce? Could it be that Goldberg had dared to utter a sarcastic comment about Fieri’s notoriously generous application of his “Knuckle Sandwich” BBQ sauce? Or perhaps she had committed the unspeakable—questioning the authenticity of his “Dragon Breath Chili”? The speculation surrounding the alleged incident was as hot and wild as a batch of Fieri’s “Ghost Pepper Wing Sauce.”

However, it is crucial to note that this entire narrative, while dramatically vivid, has been widely debunked by Whoopi Goldberg herself. In January 2024, Goldberg directly addressed these specific rumors on The View, stating emphatically, “I’ve never been kicked out of Gordon Ramsay’s restaurant. I’ve never been kicked out of Guy Fieri’s restaurant. I didn’t get kicked off Bill Maher’s show.” She clarified that the story, which gained significant traction online, originated from a satirical post on social media platform X (formerly Twitter) in early January 2024. The satirical post included a manipulated image of Goldberg and Fieri, accompanied by the fabricated incident. Goldberg stressed the importance of recognizing satire when consuming content online, urging viewers to “believe information about her that she shares publicly.”

Despite Goldberg’s clear denial, the sensationalized, fabricated account of a staff member stepping forward, claiming the reason for the alleged expulsion was far less scandalous but no less “deliciously ridiculous,” continues to circulate in the dramatic retelling. The fabricated narrative claimed Fieri ejected Goldberg after she made the “innocuous” request of wanting her “Volcano Chicken” without any sauce, an alleged “grave insult” to Fieri’s sauce-soaked culinary vision that reportedly provoked his “volcanic wrath.”

“Everyone knows you don’t go to Fieri’s and disrespect the sauce!” the anonymous, fictitious line cook supposedly stated emphatically. “That’s like going to the Louvre and saying the Mona Lisa could use a little more ‘smize’.”

So, according to the fabricated narrative, there it was: the sizzling saga of Guy Fieri and Whoopi Goldberg, a spicy altercation that “reminded” us that even in the land of excess cheese and freedom fries, there are still culinary lines that should not be crossed.

The fictional story then concludes with a “sweet aftertaste.” As the “sun set on this Flavortown feud,” Goldberg, ever the consummate professional, supposedly took it all in stride. She allegedly ended up at a vegan bistro down the street, “proving that you can take the celebrity out of the drama but not the hunger out of the celebrity.” (Note: While some sources indicate Goldberg has made dietary changes for health, she has not publicly declared herself fully vegan.)

As for Fieri, the fictional account claims he “returned to his culinary kingdom, undeterred by the celebrity clash, his reign as the Sauce Boss uncontested.” Rumor has it, within this fictionalized universe, that he’s already working on a new dish, tentatively titled ‘Whoopi’s Wicked Hot Wings,’ with extra sauce mandatory.

While this imagined face-off was undoubtedly more akin to a spicy reality TV episode than a typical day at a restaurant, one thing is certain: it’s just another day in the wild, unpredictable world of celebrity rumor mills. Bon Appétit, anyone?